I learnt something useful today. You know those ‘new’ repackaged sugar-free ‘Tunes’ (the menthol sweet things), yeah? Well, you don’t want to consume two packets of those in one morning, not unless you plan on spending the rest of the day pissing out of your ass.

This is especially bad if you’re at work and your employer maintains a toilet without any shit roll and which is in roughly the same state as what you’d expect to find in a Farnworth pub at 11:30pm on a Friday night.